On the Dangers of Reading Books  

 

Passenger (Evan): This is a book, I’m reading.  Ever seen one before?

 

Me: A book?   Humm ...  I vaguely recall seeing one, but it was years ago.  They’re amazing devices.  Weren’t they quite popular in the twentieth century?

 

Evan: I don’t know. I wasn’t around then for most of that century.

 

Me: Exactly how does a book work?

 

Evan: What do you mean?

 

Me: I mean like do you have to plug it in to boot it up”

 

Evan: No boot necessary.  You just open it and start reading.

 

Me: Amazing.  How long is the battery life?

 

Evan: Infinite. 

 

Me: Incredible. (Pause) I understand at one point they used to have specialty stores devoted entirely to books.  Where do you get them these days?

 

Evan:  Online.

 

Me: I’ll have to Google that … would you suggest any particular keywords.

 

Evan: Try book … or Amazon. 

 

Me: Oh?  … A long pause followed.

 

Me(again):  Don’t you need to be careful when reading books - I’ve heard some horror stories … 

 

Evan: What do you mean?

 

Me: I mean like I’ve heard that reading can be disturbing to some people - creating a hazardous experience.  

 

Evan: How so?

 

Me: Books can can create sudden mood shifts.  Books can change the course of history.  They can move millions of people to action and create entire movements. They can inspire people to do things they wouldn’t otherwise have considered.  Book are dangerous! If you’re not careful, reading books can lead to original thinking.

 

Evan: Really?

 

Me: You most certainly wouldn’t want to risk that, would you?

 

Evan: No. 

 

Me: In extreme circumstance reading books can lead to ideas … and we all know how nettlesome those can be.  

 

Evan: Kind of like an intellectual virus.

 

Me: Exactly. Much safer to stick to socially and commercially sanctioned sources of content that are generated by media lemmings who infest  the corporate controlled offices of network television stations, rabid radio rabble rousers and attention grabbing social media buffoons.  Take my advice and get rid of that book before it infects you.

 

We arrive at Evan’s destination in the Dogpatch.  As he gets out of the car, he closes the book on our revealing conversation and thanks me for my timely warning.   

 

Immediately I start taking notes on our conversation for the book you are now reading.

 

Legal Disclaimer:  The author disclaims any responsibility for damage to people’s minds incurred by reading this book.