Why Reading Books Is So Dangerous

Tuesday afternoon about 6:30 and I get a ping for a pickup on Berry Street behind AT & T Park, right in the heart of SF techtopia. Evan fits the mold of a developer, rumpled pants, droopy eyelids, thick rimmed glasses. He slides into the backseat and makes no attempt at pleasantries. With word efficiency and no eye contact, he says, “Dogpatch. I put the destination in the app.”

“Thanks,” I say as I tap my cellphone to start the ride and navigate.

Dogpatch is the new new in San Francisco - highest rents in the city - ground zero for disruptors - homebase for the tech intelligensia. Acutely aware that I might be transporting a member tech royalty, I take a quick glance back. Evan is totally absorbed. I comply with the silence and automatically assume he’s fixated on his mobile screen. But wait. I do a double backwards take. Omigod, I suddenly realized, It’s a book he’s reading!

A thousand rides and never have I seen this before – a pax was reading a book – in my car no less. I feel awe and wonder. After a few blocks of silence, I can no longer contain my curiosity. Oblivious to DUC (Driver’s Unwritten Code), I barge uninvited into his concentration. It’s risky, but I need to probe this amazing phenomenon more deeply.

“Excuse me for interrupting.”

No reaction. He’s ignoring me.

But I’m determined. There’s too much at stake here - in my research, if you will. “Excuse me,” I say louder, “What is that in your hands?”

“What?” Evan is annoyed. His right eyelid rises slowly from the book and he eyes me suspiciously.

“In you hands, you’re reading something, but it doesn’t appear to be a cellphone, tablet or even a laptop. I don’t think I seen this before. Just wondering what it was?”

Evan slowly manages recognition as he scans my brain for a potential virus. With scan completed, he determines it’s safe to proceed. He then efficiently couples his brain with with my brain. The result might be mistaken by what people in earlier times used to call conversation. It went roughly like this.

Evan: This is a book, I’m reading. Okay?

Me: A book? Humm ... I vaguely recall hearing about those years ago. I understand they’re amazing devices. Weren’t they quite popular in the twentieth century?

Evan: I don’t know. I wasn’t around then for most of that era.

Me: Exactly how does your book work?

Evan: What do you mean?

Me: I mean like do you have to plug it in to boot it up”

Evan: No boot necessary. You just open it and start reading.

Me: Amazing. How long is the battery life?

Evan: Infinite.

Me: Incredible. (Pause) I understand at one point they used to have specialty stores devoted entirely to books. Where do you get them these days?

Evan: Online.

Me: I’ll have to Google that … would you suggest any particular keywords.

Evan: Try book … or Amazon.

Me: Oh? … A long pause followed.

Me(again): Don’t you need to be careful when reading books - I’ve heard some horror stories …

Evan: What do you mean?

Me: I mean like I’ve heard that reading can be disturbing to some people - creating a hazardous experience.

Evan: How so?

Me: Books can can create sudden mood shifts. Books can change the course of history. They can move millions of people to action and create entire movements. They can inspire people to do things they wouldn’t otherwise have considered. Book are dangerous! If you’re not careful, reading books can lead to original thinking.

Evan: Really?

Me: You most certainly wouldn’t want to risk that, would you?

Evan: No.

Me: In extreme circumstance reading books can lead to ideas … and we all know how nettlesome those can be.

Evan: Kind of like an intellectual virus.

Me: Exactly. Much safer to stick to socially and commercially sanctioned sources of content that are generated by media lemmings who infest the corporate controlled offices of network television stations, rabid radio rabble rousers and attention grabbing social media buffoons. Take my advice and get rid of that book before it infects you.

We arrive at Evan’s destination in the Dogpatch. As he gets out of the car, he closes the book on our revealing conversation and thanks me for my timely warning.

Immediately I start taking notes on our conversation for the book you are now reading.

Legal Disclaimer: The author disclaims any responsibility for damage to people’s minds incurred by reading this book.